I sat at her side most of the day well into the night. She is in pain. She can barely breath, think or talk. most of the time she is in a state of unconsciousness. I run my fingers through her hair. Give her kisses on her cheek and forehead. Cool wet rags to wipe the sweat away. I whisper I love you's in her ear. Sing her the songs she loved to sing me as a child. Hold her hand. Put chap stick on her cracked lips. Feed her one ice cube at a time. I will show her I am strong. She expects it of me. I am her rod, her tree. I will will let her hold to me till the last excruciating breath. As I sing her breathing calms down, her pain less apparent. She tells me to make sure we are good children. She wants us to be the best, to behave. Tells me I am her best Friend in the world. She falls asleep again. Struggling to hold on. I tell her she can go. We are okay, I will make sure of it. I will keep my promise, I will take care of them all. Now she sleeps. My father lovingly by her side. Waiting once again for a chance to talk to her. To let her know he is still there. His voice singing "Why do birds suddenly apear, everytime you are near? They're just like me they long to be, close to you". Just as he has sung to her every night for the last few years till she sleeps well and his voice has gone dry. I walk out for a few minutes. Sit in the car. Lay my head on my love's lap and weep. I weep hard and long, but not long enough to be gone more than 20 minutes. Sobs escape me. A sound only my parents have heard from me. He holds me and weeps with me. I wipe my eyes. get out of the car. It's too much. My stomach empties. I pull it all together. I have gotten it out for the time being. I go back and comfort and sit. This isn't the way it's suppose to be. She was to be in her bed. In less pain. Quite and loved. Snuggled and caressed by the love of her life. Then sleep and gently slip away. No hospital, no IV's. Yet she still fights. It's up to her now. She can go when she wants to. She said maybe Friday. She will see. Keep my promise. Take care of them. Make sure they stay well. I will go back to her side. Comfort her. I don't want her to be without me as she goes to the next existence. I would walk her there if I could.