Looking foward to the weekend...

Ahh the weekend nears. Looking forward to it. Gonna see a few of my pals and hang out. Just chillin and relax time. Murph has the whole weekend off and I get to spend some good time with him. I am finaly getting over my cold and ready to be up and about again.

Thinking about taking the kids to the park and enjoying a day there. Also I have a sitter for Sunday so I will probably go up to Portland and have coffee with friends. No major schedule or anything. Just a nice weekend.

Kobolds Ate My Baby!!

http://www.koboldsatemybaby.com/

OK I was wandering through the dork tower site tonight, and hadn't really checked out the links to other site off of there. So I started to puruse. The first site was this game system. I really want to buy this one. What a major doss of silly laughter and sick humor to be had by all.

Of course, Geoffery has been very exited about this Aliens RPG for a few weeks now and really wanted to have me check it out. I am not the big Horror-fi fan he is. In a matter of fact I get really horrible nightmares from it all. I think he may have been dissapointed a little with my lack of response.

SO does this say something about my demenor and a little about his? He pulls out a Horror-fi, shoot-em-up, dark military RPG; and I pick out I psycho-cute Game about fuzzy creatures who raid towns and eat babies?

I think so...

maybe we have something with Murph's White Wolf game..lol. At least it's a good balance.

Something in the water??!!

So I have been having a strange last couple of weeks. Having a good weekend, Christina is over for the weekend.. YAY!! Roleplaying with Geoffery and his daughter and the "extended family" (Kurtis and Veronica). *double YAY!* But the last few weeks I have had random hot women in the portland area e-mail me and ask me out to dates and such. (Kurtis is totaly jealous... heehee hee.) And not just hot.. but seemingly sane and all. IT'S CRAZY!! Totaly not able or wanting to even think about going out or making time to with all of them. So I have been doing something for the first time in my life I have never even thought I would have to do before... Prioritize my time and stop and really evaluate to see if one or two would really be a "good Date" (not as in sex). Just really looking at my situation here. I currently have two people in my life, have a date with another friend and a tenative date with yet another. No-time, really for anything else. I am at a total loss. I just really have a full plate right now and so don't want to over flow it. I would love to have more friends,a nd honestly 90% of the time that's as far as it goes anyways with me (very paticular). And common, there's only so many sexual encounters before I start feeling like a major slutzoid (and trust me that's a VERY small number).

SO I am at an impass. I can just set up coffee times to chat with potentail new freinds and completely over do myself. Or prioritize, But honestly everyone that I have talked to seems so extreemly awesome. ... GRRRrrrr!!! So Blah!! I guess most people wouldn't complain too much if the roles were reversed.

105 facts

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RiNG?
yes

2. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
A few times

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
Does dinner with a wonderfull woman count?

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
Oh yeah

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
A while ago.

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
Bills, gas, books, my kids

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
Some quite tasty tamales

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Eyes and hair, demenor

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
No I have many

10. WHERE DO YOU LiVE?
Oregon

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
Dobson, in AZ

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
None at the moment

13. FAVORITE MALL/STORE:
Goodwill baby!

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
being a mother

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
Pair? they come in pairs? Please sista, I have many from D20 to D4

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
No, too rude, not much fun anyway

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
Gawds, I think it was a few years ago, a friends.

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
My mother

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND?:
about 1/2 an hour ago

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
Taco Del Mar (not to be confused with Del Taco)

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD?
I will never hurt you

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
My house

24. CAN YOU COOK?
Well, thank you

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
Any I can get my grubby little hands on

26. BEST KISSER:
I plead the 5th

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
Don't remember, try not to keep track. It was a while ago though.

28. MOST DISLIKED FOOD:
WATERMELLON IS EVIL!!!

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
My evil little thoughts and my adaptability

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
My sensitivity

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?
48 hours straight at the ER in AZ. Man that was horrible.

33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
DO I have to only pick one??

34. CAN YOU SING?
Quite well, and often

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
Violent Femmes

36. SKIPPED:
Skipping is good

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED?
Kama Sutra

38. ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
My brain

39. FAVORITE THEME PARK?:
Disneyland

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
desktop

45. DO YOU SMOKE?
frequently

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
Sleeping with clothes on? people actualy do that?

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
My Murphy butt, and anyone else I see fit.

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
Not for me, but for others maybe.

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
Oh gods I couldn't even count.

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
What no pizza?

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
Like? Love, adore, worship, relish in, those are better to describe my relationship with the java gods.

52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
I don't, breakfast food is evil incarnate.

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
Does astrology believe in me?

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
Kurtis

55. LAST DIALED CALL?
Kurtis

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST MISSED CALL YOU RECIVED?:
Some stupid talemarketer wanting to re-finance a house I don't even own.

58. NUMBER OF TIMES IN A DAY YOU EAT?
0-2

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
Spongebob square pants, and a black shirt.

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?
raspberry on whole wheat homade bread.

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
I can, although for the saftey of those around me it is not recomended.

63. CAN YOU SWIM?
Like a dolphin, and so much better than Murph.

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
Death by Chocolate (mmm chocolatey goodness!!)

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
Depends does it lead to treasure?

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
I am getting bored with this quiz.

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
Uhuh, and it was good.

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?:
Autumn

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
About 4 questions ago.

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?:
Wake in the morning? Oh gods no.

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
Fireplaces and hot chocolate

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
The ONLY TIME!! 2004

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:
Midnight

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERATTED?:
Pirates turn me on.

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
Gaming, maybe dropping by an SCA event, torchering loved ones, the usual.

78. BIRTHDATE:
December, 19th, Day of the hellraisers.

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:
Me, anyone else would just look silly in my skin.

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
Nope

87. ARE YOU SMILING?:
I tend to from time to time.

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW:
Difine miss. I could never get the aim down right to throw with my eyes open.

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
that would mean I would have to make a choice of one place, I am not prepared to limit myself with one anything right now.

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
If I was I would probably get arrested.

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
A few.

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
Boo boo kitty fuck

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
nope

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW?:
Jaws 3-D

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A BOAT?:
yep sure have

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER:
3 of them

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
sure am

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?:
Yup

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
*laughs*

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
Yeah

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
My new 8 gauge glass earings

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
Talk to people on the net, maybe proposition my husband.

AHA!!! IT"S ALIVE!! (finaly)

So I figured out how my damned webcam works. Only thing is it became quite the ordeal setting it up to where it is usuable. The USB cable is so short I had to set the whole CPU up on a box just to get it to the top of my computer. So after a little computer circus manuvering, I finaly have it up and running!

Duhh du duhh du....

So in the mist of a boring Sunday afternoon, my daughter went to the river with some friends and their mom and the kids, Murph, my nephew, and I all sat down and watched the Jaws marathon on tv. About 30 minutes into it I had to stop and think.. i can't believe my parents actualy took me to the theatre to see theese movies as a small child. No wonder I hate being on the ocean! Funny movies now that they are so campy feeling, but when they came out they were pretty scary. My sons of course were totaly amused by them and I had a pre-pubesent testoterone fest on my hands. All in all it was fun hanging out with my boys and watching old scary movies. They even asked me about how it was to see them in the theatres as a kid. Pretty cool.

Also, my daughter made me a very nice card today, that said I was her life, soul, fun, light, best friend, and such and that she adimired me as a person. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. them she cleaned the kitchen whiched helped it grow. I sure hope she feels the same way in 4 years. I know I did about my mother. Hopefully she will skip the whole teenage angst even better than I did.

Interesting news... about time for a little step..

"Working without fanfare and very closely with members of Congress for more than three years, the Human Rights Campaign secured two important protections that assist gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans in the Pension Protection Act signed into law on Aug. 17, 2006. The act includes provisions allowing non-spouse beneficiaries to roll over retirement benefits, and adding non-spouse beneficiaries to the retirement plan hardship distribution rules. The two provisions extend important financial protections to same-sex couples and other Americans who name non-spouses as their retirement plan beneficiaries."

for the complete article go to this address..

http://hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Home&CONTENTID=33539&TEMPLATE=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm

For those of you out there that are not same sex couples, but are not Married this works as well. Actualy it applies to a large range of people.

Johari Window

Stolen from lilith..


http://kevan.org/johari?name=Darkwingedfae

tell me what you think I am

Some little funnies from a poly forum...

You might be Poly if...


~Your bed, linens and blankets have to be custom made because king sized is just too small.

~You’ve replied to more than one message with, Sister wife? Bite me.

~Three or more adults show up for your child’s parent/teacher night.

~ You get group reviews on your bedroom technique.

~When telling a friend you have been diagnosed with runners knee, she asks if it’s a result of all the running you do from monogamy.

~You get to know the woman who will be your best friend because you are sleeping with her husband.

~when you watch those movies with the "torn between two lovers" and say, "Oh, don't be dumb! For crying out loud have them both!!"

~You've run into your partner while distracted from looking at an attractive person only to discover that the collision happend because they were looking at the same one.

~You walk home with a big grin on your face and your partner asks, "Meet someone nice today"?

~the waitresses at the local Mexican food restaurant always asks "where the rest of you are".

~You bought your girlfriend a tee-shirt from the hustlter store that says, "I fucked your boyfriend" and the boyfriend in question is your SO's husband.

~Your boyfriend can't remember which redheaded girlfriend told him to take out the trash.

~When a co-worker asks you which one is your boyfriend while looking at a group photo on your desk, and you say "all of them."

~If you invite over a group of the people closest in your life, and it takes 30 minutes for everyone to decide which room to put their bags in.

~If you had to buy a second fridge to stock all the favorite beverages of everyone in your network.

~after going to a party at Smoocherie's house you join OK Cupid & find out almost your entire Top 10 was at the party.

~You might be poly if you are getting condoms for your partner to use with others. (fuuny thing, I just did this like two days ago).

~You introduce your significant others as 'my better third.'

~ You come out of the shower to find your husband having sex with his girlfriend and the first thing that crosses your mind is..."God he is good looking!"

~after the interruption passes and the husband and girlfriend find their groove again the wife comes in to give them a condom knowing they had just used the last one within reach.

~ you've had a sleepless night over a hot letter a potential new boyfriend sent you the night before in email... Upon hearing your confession the next morning, your current boyfriend, still half asleep, pats your hand and says, "That's okay, Babe. You'll sleep better once you've fucked him."

~You are uncle to 17 children and all of Them have diffrent parents.

~your closet contains at least 3 diffrent sizes and styles of clothing none of which actually belong to you.

~the song "My Girlfriends Girlfriend" By Type'O'Negative makes you think about last nights after dinner gymnastics.

~You have an argument about your bf's other girlfriend because she's just not "poly enough" and on the heels of that, show him the profile of a girl you think would be perfect for him, while giggling with his OTHER girlfriend on the phone

~You can handle arguing with one red-headed girlfriend, but when they both gang up on you, it's a lost cause

Other peoples idiot children...

Today after taking my shower I was catching the view outside my bathroom window. In the alley way behind my house there were 4 little girls (between the ages of what look like to be 8 and 11) all sharing a ciggarette. They were all dress in what Murph likes to call "prost-a-tot" clothing. Skimpy little skirts and shorts and half shirts. Sitting back there smoking and cursing their heads off. Not even using the right words to make any sense.

So I called Murph upstairs and and asked him if he wanted to see something funny. Told him to look through the window. Just then I yelled " Little Girl you best put that smoke down right now!" Much less to say the squealed quite loudly and ran like hell.

some oportunities are just too good to pass, no matter how dick they are.

On a different subject...

I just found out last night that the Crystal Ballroom at 10:00pm on mondays has free showings of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". they play what seems to be about 4 episodes back to back. I am so going to go. I think that will be a common thing for me when I move back to Portland. One of my weaknesses I guess. Also I have been really getting into the Hex series. Unfortunatly only about half of the DVD's my freind has will play for some reason. So I am getting ato see like only every two or three episodes. :( so sad. I am going to have to just order them I think.

New Piercings...

So I went to get my ears tattooed today..(Finaly) and was told piercings first then tattoos. So I went into my friend Jori's place and set out for my first session of piercing on my ears. She was so excited to see me, it made me feel wonderfull. It's always nice to know that people think about you when you're not around in a positive way. I hadn't seen her in a year and she was looking through my peircing portfolio today before I came in. (she has been piercing me for over 12 years now). She was very excited that I was getting my work all done over and even some new things.

So I got a GREAT pair of glass starters for my ears for free and went up to an 8 gauge in my first holes. Next I get my second done (next week or two). Then my belly redone. After that my nose or hood, (havn't decided which one first). My tattoos on my ears will probably happen around halloween after all ears piercings are all healed up.

She is SO great. I have never had any pain with her piercings (which is abnormal me being such a whimp about getting them done). That and like I said, I love how enthusiastic and excited she gets when we have a chance to sit and talk for a while.

It's not easy being evil...

Murph and I celebrated or daughter and younger sons birthdays this last week. WE had three different birthday parties and such. Sunday we were up at my mother's house having the last party. My sister Katie was there and beating up on my nephew with me. (he's 19 he can take it)Then, My sister turned on my husband...

This thing is she is the oldest sibing in our family so she isn't use to getting any retribution for her crimes against my parents other offsrping. Although Murph DID warn her that he was also the oldest in his family and he knows this game a little too well. So she starts punching him at that point in arm and such.

The funny part of it all is after he reminded her that he is in fact almost a foot and a half taller than her, and over twice her wieght; is when she didn't stop. Then he promptly picked her up in a firemans carry. So she decided to tickle him and get out of it. When he told her he wasn't ticklish her face showed how much trouble she knew she was in. That's when Murph Paddle her bottom with a flurry of spankings and set her down, He last comment to that was "Damn! You just let yourself get spank by a republican."

..too funny

22 relationship questions

Because "Merciful Release" Said so...

1) Single, Taken, or Crushin?
Taken, and kinda available, A little crushin' (you figure it out)

2) Are you happy with where you are?
Very Very happy in my relationship.

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
Not really

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Not very often, but yes.

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay?
Loaded question, Cheating no.. never. There are certian relationships that cummunicate openly about other relationships i.e. Polyamory.

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
Case by Case basis.

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
Sure have

8) Do you want children?
Not any more than I already have.

9) How many?
I have 3 and that is enough thank you.

10) Would you consider adoption?
I have, and hopefully my third will be fully adopted one day, I am glad to have him full-time.

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know?
Tell me. I am pretty straight forward that way.

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
Sometimes, yes I do.

13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating?
Only if your talking about fun games like jokingly teasing and such.

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
Not sure on that one, never happened to me.

15) Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
Wedding ones and such.

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
If I like them why would I want to change them? If I don't like them Why would I want to take the time?

17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an objectwere would it be?
Do I get multiple weddings to cover all of them? Besides does it really matter where one marries? I was under the impression you marry someone to commit your life to that person in many ways, not for the cool location.

18) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
A few.

19) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldn't?
I think so? Does have mean a relationship or just satisfying curiosities?

20) Have you ever broken a heart?
Many

21) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other?
I don't see the need too. He loves me, I love him. Unless they were delibrately causing him harm, no I wouldn't.

22) What would you say about your last ex?
She's a little beyond the realm we call reality. No seriously.. cuckoo.

23) Have you ever dated more than one person at the same time?
Quite frequently, but they all are informed.

AFTER YOU'VE ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS, REPOST AS:24 relationship questions

Unwed couple sues over housing law...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060811/od_nm/life_marriage_dc_2

A Missouri couple who must get married, or move, in order to comply with a housing ordinance in Black Jack, Missouri, sued the town on Thursday, claiming rules prohibiting the unmarried couple and their children from living together are unconstitutional.

The petition, filed in the Circuit Court of St. Louis County, challenges a Black Jack city ordinance that prohibits more than three people from living together in the same house if they are unrelated by blood, marriage or adoption.

Plaintiffs Olivia Shelltrack and Fondray Loving and their children moved from Minnesota to Missouri earlier this year, buying a five-bedroom home in the tiny community outside St. Louis.

Shelltrack and Loving have lived together about 13 years and have two children together, along with a 15-year-old daughter of Shelltrack's from a previous relationship.

Black Jack, a town of about 7,000 that prides itself on a city Web site for its "character and stability," refused to grant the couple and their children an occupancy permit for their home because they do not meet the definition of "family" as set forth by the city, the complaint alleges.

The city has threatened to begin fining the couple as much as $500 a day, said Tony Rothert, legal director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Eastern Missouri, which is helping represent the family in the lawsuit.

The lawsuit names the city and several city officials, including city councilmen and the city housing director as defendants.

"The city of Black Jack's behavior is both pompous and unconstitutional," Brenda Jones, executive director of the ACLU of Eastern Missouri, said in a statement. "Black Jack's attempt to criminals people's choice to live together as a family has earned international ridicule for Missouri."

Black Jack city attorney Sheldon Stock said case law backed up the city's stance, which was based on preserving "neighborhood character."

"It all goes to the definition of family," Stock said. "These laws are all over the country. These laws are trying to preserve neighborhood character."

The lawsuit in Missouri comes after a North Carolina judge ruled last month that a 201-year-old law there barring unmarried couples from living together was unconstitutional.

Why oh why?

I am awake, totaly awake. Not really functioning,but non the less awake. I have had less than two hours of fucking sleep, and here I am. I have a totaly busy day today and tonight. I probably won't get to bed until way late again. then I have to get up first thing in the morning, and have an even busier day tomorrow. Right now I want to beat something; but if I had the chance I don't even think I would have the energy. I hate getting such little sleep. By this afternoon my head is gonna be trashed, I will be dizzy as all hell and it will stay that way till I get at least 8 hours of good sleep if not more.

Okay I am going to go bitch elsewhere.

Frustrations....

Last night I was getting ready to go out for a drive. Iwas talking on the computer and saying goodbyes and all that, and BAM my net crashes AGAIN!!! I am really getting sick of this. It happens about once a week, and at the totaly wrong times. Our relay is screwed. I know it's free and it's a great connection (when I am NOT getting booted), but damn can't they upgrade or something? Grrrr!!

Among other frustrations.

But some things are well. I have a busy week ahead of me and about 50% of it is fun stuff. So I can handle that. :)

Comfortable silences and wicked stares...

A look turns into a stare
a stare into moment
A Moment into a feeling
The iris pulsating a tribal rhythm
The rhythm promises of things to come
the silence encaptures the soul
the pupil swallows it in
Into indefinite depths of realities
of promised things to come
an exhilarating breeze across the skin
Caresses and entangles
to the point of a pleasurous outburst
the curve of the back waiting to arch
Desire reached so high it is uncontained
Yet the eyes won't release me
I dare not look away and give in
Too many stories and tales
Thoughts and emotions
Aeons of time become reality
rapture with pain and sweet hot nights
So many sensations
and yet not a word
drown in that gaze forever
but it is only a moment's time
anything to not look away
anything to stay in locked ecstasy
the ecstasy of a moment

Alrighty then...

Yesterday Barry and I went to the "Chance of Rain" cafe' for a poly group that meets there. It wasn't what I expected at all. The people were really nice and great conversationalists. there wasn't a whole buch of chatter abot how Polyamory syhould or should not be or even that much chatter about it really at all. Just people hanging out and having a good time drinking coffee. it is a realy nice group. I am deffinatly going to go next monday and check it out again. I had a good time.



Getting ready for the BIG birthday party for the kids this weekend. It should be fun. And it's out at the park so I dont' have to deal with dozens of children in my house. Wonderfull.

Getting ready for SCA still, sewing more garb and such. Hoping to have everything done by L&S, we'll see though, will be a miracle if I do get it all done.

A better day...

Saturday we had our friends over to roleplay for the weekend. I was so dizzy and my head was throbbing. Everytime I tried to stand up I would lose balance and even took a few falls. Durring that proccess I screwed up my knee. Although I wasn't dizzy at all yesterday, my knee was in ALOT of pain. So I am gonna wait for a day or two and if it is still messed up and hurting I will go have it checked out. Roleplaying was still fun.

This afternoon we are headed up to Portland. Going to coffee with a few people. Trying to get a hold of my brat nephew... YOU READ THIS YOU CAN CALL ME!!!
Anyways, hopefully it will be a good day to chill.

My code-fu is not strong...

So I decided to work on my 'MySpace' page a little. I have alot of friends on there, so I decided to get one. I loke my site alot better. half the HTML code I know doesn't even work on the site. and the other half looks all messed up. So I went through the MtSpace tutorial. Talk about confused. I went and did the stuff it said and my page ended up worse. So frustrated.

oh well, I am sure I will figure it out eventualy.

A little something I stole from my nephews blog....

Would you?...
(x = yes)

[_] go out with me?
[_] give me your number? (_ _ _) _ _ _- _ _ _ _ ( you don't have to actually put it)
[_] kiss me?
[_] let me kiss you?
[_] watch a movie with me?
[_] let me take you out to dinner?
[_] let me drive you somewhere
[_] be my bf/gf?
[_] have a fling with me?
[_] let me buy you a drink?
[_] take me home for the night?
[_] Would you let me sleep in your bed?
[_] Sing car karaoke w/ me?
[_] re-post this for me to answer your questions?
[_] Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere
[_] Lock me in your room and take advantage of me?
[_] lick my cheek?
[_] dance with me?
[_] let me make you breakfast?
[_] help me with homework?
[_] tickle me to death?
[_] let me tickle you?
[_] stick up for me if i was being put down?
[_] play strip poker with me?
[_] say yes if i asked you out?
[_] get wasted with me?
[_] instant message me?
[_] greet me in public?
[_] hang out with me?
[_] bring me around your friends?

D0 Y0U...
[_] think im cute?
[_] think im hot?
[_] want to kiss me?
[_] want to cuddle wit me?
[_] want to hook up with me?

ARE WE...
[_] aquintences?
[_] friends?
[_] in a relationship?
[_] gonna have kids?

AM i...
[_] smart?
[_] cute?
[_] funny?
[_] cool?
[_] loveable?
[_] adorable?
[_] compassionate?
[_] annoying?
[_] great to be with?
[_] attractive?
[_] mean?
[_] odd?

HAVE Y0U EVER...
[_] thought about me?
[_] thought there might be an "us"?
[_] thought about hookin up with me?
[_] found yourself wanting a kiss from me?
[_] wished i were there?
[_] grabbed me?
[_] had a crush on me?
[_] idolized me?
[_] wanted my number?
[_] had a dream about me?
[_] been distracted by me?


ARE Y0U...
[_] done with this survey?
[_] happy you know me?
[_] mad at me?
[_] thinkin bout me?

Today is my daughter's 10th birthday. Oh gods, getting close to those teens years. We are just having a little sleepover for her tonight, and her big party is on Saturday.

Had a wonderfull game of White wolf last night. It started off slow, but was still a blast. So many puns were thrown out there it made my side hurt all evening from laughing. I love gaming day.

Just Sick....

Murph has shown me just what to do when you absolutely want to make sure your loved ones will not want to sleep near you at night. Eat a can of sardines right before bed.

YUCK!

and I have to say again

YUCK!!!!

Okay, I hate sardines. If you want to eat them that's fine. I can chose not to be around. But my gods, my wonderfull husband goes and eats them before bed? I am sure he is finding this funny. Although, he DID stay downstairs and eat them away from my presence. As well as warn me first. Of all of this nasty stinky canned fish snack he so craves, I did tell him my expectations. Brush teeth (very very well and long), Rinse with mouthwash (twice), Wash hands and face (no little soap and water either, scrub.... scrub.... scrub!).

LOL he does the cutest stuff sometimes... and now he is truley stinky.
I love that man, eventhough he eats sardines. (which BTW, is the first time in the 14 years I have known him, seen him actualy eat them).

A completely fucked morning......

At about 4:30am I was awaken by Murph who was having realy bad chest pain. So I listened to his heart, took his blood pressure and made the decision that indeed it was hospital time. We went in and they did a few tests some ex-rays. He is already on heart medicine for high blood pressure and ir-rythmia. Well thank goodness he was not having a heart attack, but he has developed a nasty heart murmur and needs to go in for more testing.

As we were leaving the hospital I bent down to get my purse and full force wacked my head on a counter above the chair I was sitting in. hard enough to draw blood and start a nasty little bruise. So on comes the migraine.

We get home and I finaly get enough Imatrex and motion sickness medicine in my body to fall of to sleep somewhat comfortably. Then Murph's mom calls. His step-mom was jogging this morning (a daily routine), and was hit by a car. They transfered her over to OHSU were she will at least be staying a night in the hospital. They don't know if anythihng is broken, but she is bleeding from multiple lacerations pretty well. She is going to have a full CAT scan in a while.

So I think I will just spoil Murph for the day (even though he is determind to work tonight anyways), and try to get a good day going afterall. Even with the lack of sleep and the headache from the cabinent O' pain.

Little Earthquakes.....

Although apropriate to use this song in reference to my friends feeling earthquakes this morning; it is not. Still kinda cool they did. Even better it was small and noone was injured.


Barry was getting ready to go to work today and starting playing "Little Earthquakes". Everytime I hear this song, something in my heart gets weak. Like a feeling of wieght on my chest. Memories tend to flood in at rapid paces, ones I love having their mortality cut short, me sitting at too many gravestones by myself, laying on the ground as if I could reach down and pull them back up to me. That somehow my heart is reaching them, in sufferance that my thoughts are not lost in the wind. Imagining my sister walking toward me with her long flowing golden hair and alabaster skin. My Best friend in her dark purple velvet dress and blackend hair floating around the graveyard laughing. Oh, and the so many more that have gone. My sister, my child, my friends, my confidants.

The memories of loves lost and friends outgrown. Intamacies, turned into trivial agressive remarks. How pain and anguish forms the barrier I fight to let down everyday with the ones I love. How the ones I love care enough to let me bring those down and know my most intamate feelings of sorrow are mine to own, how I need to keep them inside most of the time.

That my life is built on a solid foundation of emotion and suffering that brings me to true enjoyment of all around me. I do not chose to suffer, I chose to enjoy. Sufference is not sought, it happens to everyone. Enjoyment, loving and laughter are in my control. I savor every emotion for what it is. Every moment for it subtle expressions and undertones. Every intamacy for what it is. Not a complicated babbling of desire crossed with jealously and personal gain. Just an intamate contact, whether a look in the eyes, a touch to the fingertips, or a night long conversation with a good friend. These are the experiences that make me thrive.

Love the daddy...

Oh yeah I am spoiled, I think I am SO not most of the time; then my dad goes and does stuff like this. He bought me a new car. Not brand new mond you, but none the less new to me. He bought me a 93' Buick. I don't know what kind yet, or even what color. He is going to pick it up today. I do however have to pay him back. Starting with a $250 down mayment and $50 a month, but that's okay. Alot better than most payments. We realy needed a "not van" car. I know Buick's don't get great gas milage, but it will be better than what the van gets. This one has VERY VERY low miles on it. which is sweet. Supposedly it is in perfect condition. We will see about that. Either way I feel the need to do the spoiled princess thing right now and say; "My daddy loves me!".

My duaghter is turning 10 this weekend and my youngest son turns 8 next week. Damn they grow up fast. It's crazy. On the 12th we are having a birthday party in the park for them. I hope they enjoy it. Now are the years they will remember if mom bombs on their birthdays or not.

Rambling thoughts and and embroidery...

Did alot of embroidery tonight, didn't actualy realy get to much of the sewing part. Funy thing when I sit and start going away with emboidering, my thoughts just tend to ramble inside my head. The things I think of while sitting still realy let me know how active a mind I realy do have. I think if I had the energy I would be a hyper active person to go with my thought proccesses. Durring this time of mental idle chatter about current world events, kids growing up, my mother, how exactly I would lay out my castle, etc.. I thought, you know it's not just embroiery that my mind wanders. Even when I am seemingly quite contently and happily entertained I still come up with the most random shite in my brain. No wonder I seem so spacey. I tend to self entertian easily, especialy at the wrong moments. I wonder how this effects the people around me. My hands and body run on auto pilot and my mind severes for a few minutes and then returns. I think I will have to watch myself on this one, it could realy be taken the wrong way. That may be why I do things every once in a while that are quite out of the norm for me. Could it realy be that simple? Could it just be that my body needs a babysitter while my mind is on holiday? I doubt it realy is as simple as that, but it does pose a good question.

Well off to let my mind wander more.