Speaker for the dead...

What a great concept the speaker for the dead is.

Today my mother's mother died. Actualy she died less than an hour ago to be specific. The only thing is is that when most people lose a grandparent there is some loss
and at least thoughts of how good of the things they have done in their life. Well not the case this time. My mother and I are having a horrible time dealing with the memorial service arrangments. What do you say in ullagy about a person who absolutly contributed nothing to their childrens and grandchildrens lives?

You see, my grandmother became an alcoholic at age 14 (the same age as when she married). She had 9 children and 6 of them were not my granfathers, eventhough they were still wed. She had obvious numerous affairs and fought with him all the time. She would have a baby and then a week or so later go back to work leaving the other children to take care of it. My mother started running the house at age 4. At the tender young age most kinds are playing with blocks my mother was in charge of her two older brothers and an infant. By the age of 7 my mother was soley respnsible for the household chores, cooking, etc. My grandmother never let them play at friends houses and join school functions as kids. She would leave for work in the morning and head striaght towards the bar right afterwards, ahowing up at the house late at night and making my mother scrub floors or other duties that she didn't think had been done satisfactory. There were a few times were my greatgrandmother interviened and took the children out of the house and made a few of them live with her.

At the age of 16 my father's mother finaly got sick of my grandmothers abuse towards my mother and had her move in with her. (kicking my dad and his brother out of their room and made them stay in the bunkhouse on the farm).

As for my memories of my grandmother; She wasn't so nice to all of us as well. I would go and visit her when I was little, just to call my aunt in a few days to come and get me out of the house as quickly as possible. My grandmother started to give me alcohol at age 8 and tried to get me smoking by then as well. She would also lock me out of the house for the night and make me sleep on the porch if I didn't like what was for dinner or if I didn't know how to do a certain chore. I realy didn't care much for her as you can imagine.

So what do you say about a person like that? The only time she was nice was after she had drunk herself into dementia. She put my mother and her siblings and my grandfather though hell.

My mother has found one way, she is talking about her psot-mortal beliefs. I however am going to help out with the funeral arrangements, but will not be attending.